godzillas view on vehicles

crunchy wrapper that soft chewy food things hide in. squish them and you can drink the liquid. crack them open you get to eat the meaty food stuffs.

when is the circus leaving town

Ok so the cicus is in my head and i'm just curious as to when its leaving because you see the lion keeps jumping through flaming rings which is getting my brain clawed and burned and theres also a two ton elephant sitting on my brain i'm hoping the circus leaves before he decides to take a crap on my brain. this joke was funnier in my head and the first time i used it.

humans through a dogs eye

human beings as seen by dogs
strange two legged things with removable furs

human beings as seen by puppies
cool its a moving chew toy

I'm not sure it might just be me but i think this is how my dogs think i have an old dog and a new puppy the new puppy thinks she needs to eat everything that moves and shes only 6lbs my other dog is around 85lbs and she thinks hes the most amazing chew toy in the world. i'm not sure he finds her as amusing as she seems to find him. she also thinks shes bulletproof.

The ghost of Christmas past is coming for you

the ghost of Christmas past is coming for you. seriously though he just wants his t-shirt back apparently you borrowed it and never returned it. then he died but tonight is an awesome ghost party and he wants to wear that shirt so hes coming to get it back from you. next time just return the shirt.

Am I a Beast or a person

Alright so occasionally (ok so mostly everyday) I run around the house eating everything I can find, no there's nothing wrong with me i just burn through food fast. Today I decided to chew on mom a few time eventually she got tired and ask me what is she feeding a carnivorous beast or a human. She says I'd eat her house if it tasted like food so to prove a point I bit the roof of a gingerbread house oops I did eat the house. needless to say its three hours later and the house is gone I ate the whole thing so I guess I would eat the house if it tasted good and it did. :) any way I fell off track sort of I told her I am a beast she told me beasts don't belong in the house. (A little background for you i'm slightly over 5ft and between 115 and 120lbs and junk food is my food of preference but I do eat everything.) hey not my fault well see you later I'm going to find something else to eat.

What to do on an ATV.

Excellent tips to (not) follow while riding an ATV, UTV, or other motor vehicle. *Warning Most Of These Ideas Can Cause Severe Bodily Harm Or Death Do Not Try Ever* and if you are stupid enough to actually try your actions will be seen as suicidal and we are thus not responsible for your bad judgement.
First if it has a seat belt do not wear it its not there for safety its there to restrict your amount of fun.
Second cut the brake cables these only slow you down and that,s no fun
Third start the engine
Fourth drive around until you find a big steep hill and see how long it takes to flip your vehicle while trying to go up the hill at random angles and speeds. (if you are unable to roll the vehicle the hill is not steep enough try a bigger one).
Fifth if the rolling wasn't enough thrill for you try seat belting up (so you don't float out of the seat) and seeing if your vehicle is amphibious and drive it under the water.
Sixth always watch a movie while driving watching the road is for squares.
Seventh as if there wasn't enough ways to get yourself killed play Russian roulette with the passengers and make bets on who will still be alive at the end.
*Again All Of These Are Bad Ideas Do Not Try Them Ever Or Be Ready To Die* I take no responsibility for this post or your resulting actions from it. I do not believe humans to be this incapable of making decisions for themselves that they would be unable to make their own choices.

taking over the world

Ok I am awesome today I have concocted the most incredible item you see today we have fries and these are not just ordinary fries these fries will help me take over the world. you see because they contain a special product I made. They come in many varieties including many types of fries, tots, chips, baked potato, and oven roasted. we couldn't make boiled because that reacts badly with the substance and it causes mutations. So would you like any of the a fore mention potato products we are have a sale its free trial day. By the way all orders come with a side of brainwashing that is built into the fries but don't worry this isn't harmful to you. (microscopic print : side effects: This will cause you to do what ever i say and follow my every whim, may also cause stomach ache, insomnia, and severe dehydration.)